Let’s start with the basics. Think about where you learned about sex.
Are you picturing a school classroom, crowded with nervous kids, wondering why they separated the girls from the boys?
Are you picturing an awkward talk with your parents?
Maybe you had to figure it out all on your own with a vague handbook for teens or just the good ol’ internet.
For most of you, it could’ve been a jumbled combination of all of this and more.
Let me tell you about how I learned about sex.
I grew up in the days of popular teen magazines. Reading about experiences like “They called me a slut in college,” “I accidentally peed on my boyfriend” and tips such as: “10 ways to blow his mind” or “How to spice up your sex life.”
My first time truly having an experience with sex was watching porn with my high school boyfriend. I remember seeing hairless women with fake boobs and over-the-top moans. It was obvious that their worth was based on how far they could deep throat.
The articles, the porn, the societal stereotypes ~ all perpetuated the patriarchal performative view of sex. There was nothing useful about how to please MYSELF, or how to express authentic sexual pleasure. As a result of these introductory experiences, my sex life involved me only focusing on how to please my partners and not myself. I never knew the importance of exploring, loving, and appreciating my own body.
Does this sound familiar? Are you nodding your head in empathy? Lucky us, right?
Hi. I’m Lilly Sparks, and I founded the glow.
One thing you should know about me: I hate the term “sex education.” Don’t get me wrong, I love sex and I love education. Yet for some reason, when you put those two words together, I have an instantaneous gut reaction. Something inside me says “Nope. Not for me. I don’t need this. I’m a grown ass adult woman. I don’t need somebody telling me how to have sex.”
Of course, then I remember I was having sex for nearly 10 years without once having an orgasm. Even now, in my thirties, I’m still on an incredible pleasure empowerment journey and learning new things all of the time. For example, I recently read Dr. Laurie Mintz’s Becoming Cliterate and learned that the inner labia have tons of nerve endings! This led to some fun weekend exploration. 😉
I wanted to create a space where I could find information relevant to me, a woman with a healthy sex drive living in the modern world. A space that would empower all women as they grew into their sexual lives. It was important to me to have this information feel like it was coming from a big sister – grounded in real life, with my best interests at heart. A place where learning about sex would be fun.
Enter: the glow.
The glow was created as a comfortable space where we can all talk about sex.
So, let’s talk about the glow. Who is she? What’s she all about? How can she fit into your life?
The glow is the sex resource I wish I had growing up. It’s the sex resource I wish I had TODAY. It’s a place where you can go for straight talk and honest advice from writers that are equally smart bitches and caring friends. It’s the home for thoughtful advice on tough questions, such as how to talk to your partner about what you need in bed or how to explore your body through incredible solo sex.
The glow is also a community of people. Different people with different opinions, who may not always agree. In life, and in sex, there’s no one right answer. There’s just the right answer for you.
The glow is a place to explore all things sex and sexual wellness. In many cultures around the world, good sex is considered as important to your health and overall wellbeing as how you eat or exercise. Frankly, I couldn’t agree more.
The glow is finally putting the spotlight on pleasure. Pleasure is so, so important. We don’t prioritize it enough in and out of our sex lives. The sad truth is that many of us are just settling for ‘good’, simply as the better alternative to bad, painful, messy, demeaning. Good should not mean ‘not bad’. It should mean fantastic, titillating, sexy, orgasmic. It’s time to step up our game.
At the glow, we want to be the home of pleasure on the internet.
Our mission is to get people talking about sex. Most sex problems have solutions. I promise. The problem is that most of us are too shy or nervous to open up and talk about them. Think about how much better off we would all be if we were all comfortable in our sexuality. How much more great sex we’d be having. How much more Oxytocin would be floating around in our brains, leaving us all peaceful, chill, and loving.
The glow wants you to have the best sex you’ve ever had, period. To keep having it and for it to keep getting better. It’s all you, baby. We’re just giving you the tools and encouragement to bring it forth.
I hope you’ll join us. I hope you’ll add your voice to the conversation. I hope you’ll talk more about sex, whether its to a partner or opening up to a friend. If you have something to say, send us a note at firstname.lastname@example.org. Oh, and welcome to the glow – it’s going to be a beautiful journey together.
Meet the author...
Lilly Sparks is the founder of afterglow, the sex-positive, pleasure-focused platform and community shifting the adult media paradigm. Curating stories, igniting conversations and offering premium video and written content centered on sexual fulfillment, afterglow empowers everyone to become experts in their own pleasure.